So, I finally did this.

It only took me 5 and 1/2 years.

Taigan just turned six.  She is the most beautiful thing in the entire world.  She has your blonde hair and your stubborn attitude.  I love her so much more than I ever thought I could love someone.  I want to protect her and keep her safe from any heartache. 

More than anything, I want her to know you. 

I don't want her to be sad.  I simply want her to know you.  How could someone not know you?  I miss you every single day.

I will do my best.  I wish there was more I could do.  I always feel like I can't possibly do enough.  But I will try.  I am trying.  We all are.  I promise.

March 14, 2010

I cannot grasp how one moment you are driving down the road and the next you are not breathing.  You are in pieces.  Shattered pieces being blown in the wind.  I feel that now and then one of those pieces finds me and cuts me.  So deep.  God, my love, where have you gone?  The cruelest part is that there will never be the right words to heal my heart.  If only I could just tell you that I miss you.  If only your hand could reach into my heart and feel the depth of my love that aches for you.  Could you come hug me, just for a little while?  I'm tired of these pieces that are cutting away at me.  I need your warmth and laughter.

We are flying down the highway and all I can see is you.

Dusk & Summer

"She smiled in a big way, the way a girl like that smiles
When the world is hers and she held your eyes
Out in the breezeway down by the shore in the lazy summer
And she pulled you in, and she bit your lip, and she made you hers
She looked deep into you as you lay together quiet in the grasp of dusk and summer

But you've already lost
When you only had barely enough to hang on

And she combed your hair, and she kissed your teeth
And she made you better than you'd been before
She told you bad things you wished you could change in the lazy summer
And she told you, laughing down to her core, so she would not cry as she lay in your lap
She said "nobody here can live forever, quiet in the grasp of dusk and summer"

But you've already lost
When you only had barely enough to hang on

She said, "no one is alone the way you are alone"
And you held her looser than you would have if you ever could have known
Some things tie your life together, slender threads and things to treasure
Days like that should last and last and last

But you've already lost
When you only had barely enough of her to hang on"

 

-Dashboard Confessional